Friday, May 18, 2007

E.A. Hanks first recipient of the B.S. Cutter Award of Merit

The Cantankerous Consultant has teamed up with the folks at B.S Cutter Whiskey to present a new award: The B.S. Cutter Award of Merit. It goes to the worthy individual whose commentary cut through the bullshit and bring those blue-skying, buzzwordly, hype-mongering, grossly guruish consultants back to reality!

Our first recipient is the inimitable E. A. Hanks whose impudent ways enliven Kudos for her commentary entitled, Innovation Is Nothing: A Look Inside Clinton Guru John Kao's Douchey "Manifesto." When I saw the adjective "douchey" used to describe "Manifesto" my cantankerous little heart went pitter patter. Sigh!

Ms. Hanks' subject is John
Kao, who was hired by the Clinton campaign as an advisor and was paid $70,000 to offer tidbits of wisdom such as, "Ideation instigates innovation." Ms Hanks, in a response that should win her a Nobel Prize for blogging, notes, "Apparently, alliterative assholes assume adults appreciate this kind of adolescent absurdity."

And so it is with great pride and pleasure that we present the first-ever
B.S. Cutter Award of Merit to Ms. Hanks. Well done!

The Cantankerous Consultant would also like to add his two cents about Mr.
Kao. As part of his “transformation manifesto,” Mr. Kao suggests hiring a “chief destruction officer” instead of a “chief innovation officer.” Ugh! Time to renew my membership in the Barf Bag of the Month Club. So let me get this straight, that mean Harvard will now offer a MD (Master of Destruction) in addition to its MBA degree? If so, here is a hint to anyone applying to get into the program. On your essay, try using the following quote which is a favorite of destructor wannabes, “Harm is the norm. Doom should not jam.” It is eloquent without a lick of alliteration. (FYI: It's from Vladimir Nabokov's Pnin).

Note: The
B.S. Cutter brand of whiskey is a no nonsense victual inspired by the adventures of the venerable ship, B.S. Cutter. According to legend, it was the irascible Captain Farley Craized who was the first person to utter the immortal phrase, “Damn the buzzwords, full speed ahead!” The folks at B.S. Cutter also sponsor the Public Service Announcements who slogan is, "Sail safely. Throw the damned consultant overboard!"

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