tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-49676662536962797722024-03-14T08:03:04.422-07:00Dieter Prucker The Cantankerous Consultant<B>The rantings of a management guru gone bad!</B>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-13728067598804320842007-06-04T08:03:00.000-07:002007-06-04T08:18:04.668-07:00A Postcard to the Wonderful Executives at Circuit City<div style="text-align: center;"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi50g99pp3ojmrafGAkVGtkOURZfB5iehKthPAkPhUifgGWAO8_5M1YszSuTQn1CgHbdubMp2piIF6ynts7oCkfD8BIyv2fpEA7eHygXCClg3FKo8QXC5RAkqKjN5z0xXJMT711aw41I34/s320/city.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5072225299789166802" border="0" /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;">This postcard was posted at http://postsecret.blogspot.com the week of 5/30/07<br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Found this wonderful postcard at the <a href="http://postsecret.blogspot.com/">PostSecret blog</a>.<br /><br /></span></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style=";font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >Just in case you're not up to speed on the story, a couple of months ago Circuit City announced they were firing 3,400 of their employees because they were making too much money. The company told the dismissed employees they could reapply, in ten weeks, for any openings at Circuit City...at a wage lower than their original pay scale.<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">For more posts on Circuit City, see: </span></span><a href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/even-more-about-circuit-city.html"><span style="font-size:100%;">Even more about Circuit City!</span></a><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">, </span><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/more-on-circuit-city.html">More on Circuit City</a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"> and From </span><a style="font-family: trebuchet ms;" href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/hedgogs-to-warthogs.html">Hedgehogs to Warthogs</a><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">.</span><br /></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /><br /></span></span></div><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><br /></span></div><span style="font-style: italic;"></span><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"><span style="font-family:verdana;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span></span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"></span></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"></span></span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-family:lucida grande;"></span></span></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-48776595621716155312007-06-02T12:14:00.000-07:002007-06-02T12:19:26.877-07:00THE WORLD IS FAT<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoyk5IET0JW4RGTXD4xq81xDZySmSF81PsXTChoJdFZphqbs4tXAAu2OZHU_RwUYeOA8Xc9V6JnmIhnEWwBYsFyKycAxLtF-TNjZWMFLkEN7CK1Bkm8CcLfzmhT9pdOL6IMHPq7H5wirk/s1600-h/world_is_fat.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoyk5IET0JW4RGTXD4xq81xDZySmSF81PsXTChoJdFZphqbs4tXAAu2OZHU_RwUYeOA8Xc9V6JnmIhnEWwBYsFyKycAxLtF-TNjZWMFLkEN7CK1Bkm8CcLfzmhT9pdOL6IMHPq7H5wirk/s320/world_is_fat.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5071547721453582530" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">This book, which has been a popular business read, begins well enough with a first chapter entitled, “While I Was Snacking.” The author, Mr. Freedme, discusses his experience sitting on a couch, his coffee table littered with debris from McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Starbucks, Taco Bell and Baskin-Robbins. At that particular moment, he happens to be watching the world championships of Sumo wrestling when, lo and behemoth, Torsten Scheibler, a 440-pound wrestler from Germany captures a gold medal.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Initially Mr. Feedme’s observations are lucid, acute and scintillating. He asks provocative questions about globalization, the retail economy and vividly paints parallel trends in international sports and the fast food industry as a metaphor for more broad-reaching sea changes. He astutely explores how a sport such as Sumo, whose very essence is Japanese, has become become embraced internationally, attracting both fans and athletes from around the world.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">From there, the book’s promising beginning is utterly obliterated as Feedme launches into a bloated and turgid premise that gives rises to a series of chapters entitled, “Ten Forces that Fattened the World.” The author have may begun with the belief that the Sumo wrestlers he saw on the TV screen that day, alongside with fast food debris on his coffee table, could be woven into a coherent set of ideas. Alas, Feedme's intellectual drawbacks become abundantly evident as one peruses the chapter titles for each of the Fatteners:</span> <span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /><br />- Fattener #1. 4/19/75 – Double-Stuff Oreo’s introduced</span> <span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br />- Fattener #2. 11/8/87 – First online menu appears</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">- Fattener #3. The blueprint is drawn for a Starbucks within a Starbucks</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br />- Fattener #4: Weird Al releases his music video, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG8WUpHdpVA">Fat</a>.<br />- </span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">Fattener #5. The Jenny Craig Heresy</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">- Fattener #6. The Global Calorie</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br />- Fattener #7. The Cooking Channel in High Definition</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">- Fattener #8. Ingesting, inhaling, insourcing and indigestion</span><br /><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">- Fattener #9. Boink: Eating without thinking</span> <span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;">- Fattener #10. Atlas bulks up on steroids so he can shrug more easily</span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;"><br /><br />This is a book filled with cute inanities and readers are more likely to find intellectual substance in an assortment of Twinkies and Devil Dogs.</span> </div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-54834383017274364002007-05-18T06:43:00.000-07:002007-05-19T10:15:10.851-07:00E.A. Hanks first recipient of the B.S. Cutter Award of Merit<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAo3BCS7YvL7Tbn3efoiejgsDk-MxRPDaCBDmumQiSSNwrNKp5T6F98xPe8vkIb3-S7QHrjE3WUDabdGTm15TxTKGwtI0BfjFH0C0lv2hcCL-QM5N8pNG3P_F2p3u2EU5okrptXlZmiyU/s1600-h/label9.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhAo3BCS7YvL7Tbn3efoiejgsDk-MxRPDaCBDmumQiSSNwrNKp5T6F98xPe8vkIb3-S7QHrjE3WUDabdGTm15TxTKGwtI0BfjFH0C0lv2hcCL-QM5N8pNG3P_F2p3u2EU5okrptXlZmiyU/s400/label9.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5066319964570302642" border="0"></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><font size="3">The Cantankerous Consultant has teamed up with the folks at B.S Cutter Whiskey to present a new award: The </font><font style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);" size="3">B.S. Cutter Award of Merit</font><font size="3">. It goes to the worthy individual whose commentary cut through the bullshit and bring those blue-skying, </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" size="3">buzzwordly</font><font size="3">, hype-mongering, grossly </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" size="3">guruish</font><font size="3"> consultants back to reality!<br /><br />Our first recipient is the inimitable E. A. Hanks whose impudent ways enliven </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" size="3">Huffingtonpost</font><font size="3">.com. Kudos for her commentary entitled, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/e-a-hanks/innovation-is-nothing-a-_b_48622.html">Innovation Is Nothing: A Look Inside Clinton Guru John <font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Kao's</font> <font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Douchey</font> "Manifesto."</a> When I saw the adjective "</font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5" size="3">douchey</font><font size="3">" used to describe "Manifesto" my cantankerous little heart went </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6" size="3">pitter</font><font size="3"> patter. Sigh!<br /><br />Ms. Hanks' subject is John </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7" size="3">Kao</font><font size="3">, who was hired by the Clinton campaign as an <a href="http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/05/14/clinton-keeps-corporate-adviser/">advisor</a> and was paid $70,000 to offer tidbits of wisdom such as, "</font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8" size="3">Ideation</font><font size="3"> instigates innovation." Ms Hanks, in a response that should win her a Nobel Prize for blogging, notes, "Apparently, alliterative assholes assume adults appreciate this kind of adolescent absurdity."<br /><br />And so it is with great pride and pleasure that we present the first-ever </font><font style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);" size="3">B.S. Cutter Award of Merit </font><font style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);" size="3"><font style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">to Ms. Hanks. Well done!</font></font><font size="3"><br /><br />The Cantankerous Consultant would also like to add his two cents about Mr. </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9" size="3">Kao</font><font size="3">. As part of his “transformation manifesto,” Mr. </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" size="3">Kao</font><font size="3"> suggests hiring a “chief destruction officer” instead </font><font size="3">of a “chief innovation officer.” Ugh! Time to renew </font><font size="3">my membership in the Barf Bag of the Month Club. So let me get this straight, that mean Harvard will now offer a MD (Master of Destruction) in addition to its MBA degree? If so, here is a hint to anyone applying to get into the program. On your essay, try using the following quote which is a favorite of <font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">destructor</font> wannabes, “Harm is the norm. Doom should not jam.” It is eloquent without a lick of alliteration. (FYI: It's from </font><font size="3">Vladimir Nabokov's <font style="font-style: italic;"><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">Pnin</font>).</font><br /><br /><br />Note: The </font><font style="font-weight: bold;" size="3">B.S. Cutter brand of whiskey</font><font size="3"> is a no nonsense victual inspired by the adventures of the venerable ship, B.S. Cutter. According to legend, it was the irascible Captain Farley </font><font class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" size="3">Craized</font><font size="3"> who was the first person to utter the immortal phrase, “Damn the buzzwords, full speed ahead!” The folks at B.S. Cutter also sponsor the Public Service Announcements who slogan is, "Sail safely. Throw the damned consultant overboard!"</font><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-78412669098116436222007-05-04T13:16:00.000-07:002007-05-04T13:19:36.380-07:00Fast Company's Evil Twin?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqK6yJtbBT4Piirl0qaVl5yCwescw0KiWCVsgZ5vJnmtO6K3zPLZXg-8j_FPj_wbdI7bDPeDYvhy5SOw4CfJdpBXTr8Fw3BXc0owjPDVGPKW1u91nR-qK-9kmiJthk6SneQyVT9mOo0oI/s1600-h/slowco.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqK6yJtbBT4Piirl0qaVl5yCwescw0KiWCVsgZ5vJnmtO6K3zPLZXg-8j_FPj_wbdI7bDPeDYvhy5SOw4CfJdpBXTr8Fw3BXc0owjPDVGPKW1u91nR-qK-9kmiJthk6SneQyVT9mOo0oI/s400/slowco.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5060802666367436978" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-54358808437299636962007-05-03T06:49:00.000-07:002007-05-03T07:31:24.359-07:00GET THE BONUS YOU DON'T DESERVE!<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >A NEW WORKSHOP EXCLUSIVELY FOR FEDERAL EMPLOYEES<br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildWT7dCjdTFiE_yitPpV_pMhj3r7EHTHJT53THsmFTOtfoouJHggsrNbGIXtlyyqcK-lXu344euiZspfShoAYeSqsMTtoaJ-AbHL83_0WuE1Q65wUzmulAtDFrRKQjEkEj7MQw7vnB_w/s1600-h/fistcash.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 86px; height: 82px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEildWT7dCjdTFiE_yitPpV_pMhj3r7EHTHJT53THsmFTOtfoouJHggsrNbGIXtlyyqcK-lXu344euiZspfShoAYeSqsMTtoaJ-AbHL83_0WuE1Q65wUzmulAtDFrRKQjEkEj7MQw7vnB_w/s200/fistcash.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5060338934453520514" border="0" /></a><br /></div><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" >HOW TO G</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" >ET A BONUS<br /></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" >Even if you don't deserve it!</span></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);font-size:130%;" ><br /></span></span></span><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">IT'S TRUE...FEDERAL BONUSES ARE THE SECRET WAY TO BUILD WEALTH!</span><br />Working for the Fede</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">ral Government can be more lucrative than most people realize. The secret? Bonuses! </span></span><br /></div><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">THE BEST KEPT SECRET IN THE FEDERAL PAY SYST</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">EM</span><span><br /></span></span></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">If you are like most federal em</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">ployees, you are probably thinking, "Bonuses? There's hardly any money for bonuses!" Well, you're wrong! Did you know there is a <span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">Strategic Bonus Reserve (SBR)</span> bu</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">ilt into the federal budget? Similar in concept to the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strategic_Petroleum_Reserve">Strategic Petroleum Reserve</a>, the SBR is network of money caches that stockpiles bonuses at strategic locations throughout the country.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">LEARN HOW TO TAP INTO THE <span style="font-style: italic;">STRATEGIC BONUS RESERVE</span></span><br />Originally the SBR was intended to be use only during </span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">times of national emergency. But thanks to an oft overlooked loo</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">phole, there is a way that any federal employee can tap into it, even if there is no crisis! Yes, you read correctly. <span style="font-style: italic;">Any</span> federal employee (i.e., you!) can make us</span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">e of the BSR. And there's no need to wait for an emergency.</span></span><br /><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">LEARN F</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">ROM THE EXPERTS AT THE VETERANS ADMINISTRATION!</span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">The faculty workshop has been recruited from the experts at the Verterans Administration. Recently the Associated Press rep</span></span></span></span><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">orted how senior VA officia</span></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >ls got big bonuses: </span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >"</span></span></span><span style="font-family: trebuchet ms;font-size:100%;" >WASHINGTON - Months after a poli</span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">tically embarrassing $1 billion shortfall that put veterans' health care in peril, Veterans Affairs officials involved in the foul-up got hefty bonuses ranging up to $33,000. The list of bonuses to senior career officials at the Veterans Affairs Department in 2006, obtained by The Associated Press, documents a generous package of more than $3.8 million in payments by a financially strapped agency straining to help care for thousands of injured veterans ret<span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">urning home from Iraq and Afghanistan."<br /></span></span></span><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">As the chart below demonstrates, these folks k</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">no</span>w what they're doing!<br /></span></span><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgurbh5o0TYEDfjVMZbXP1n6AnCXwERhjx8ZTvmvqM4zS8ws05anFfOFp2dZ8Rshhi4gJqJowM4gahjY6EkW5gu705cDqEG5Xy-r0pXlOzShEKIIz89RE2lDZ5cYc3fYqd4fmw1EEXJ0fo/s1600-h/veterans_bonuses.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgurbh5o0TYEDfjVMZbXP1n6AnCXwERhjx8ZTvmvqM4zS8ws05anFfOFp2dZ8Rshhi4gJqJowM4gahjY6EkW5gu705cDqEG5Xy-r0pXlOzShEKIIz89RE2lDZ5cYc3fYqd4fmw1EEXJ0fo/s400/veterans_bonuses.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5060337517114312818" border="0" /></a><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 102, 102);font-family:trebuchet ms;" >DOUBLE YOUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEE!</span></span> We're so so confident this system will work for you and that our expert faculty can literally put more money in your pocket tha</span><span style="font-size:100%;">t we'll give you double your money back if you don't get a hefty bonus within a year of taking the workshop.<br /></span><div style="text-align: center;">---------------------------<br /></div><span style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span> <div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Corporate Sponsor</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/save-salary-movement-begun-by-corporate.html"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSxDNO9D2E-QTtNkstJngd7kfoerkymWXQIFsP3osATYPjd8N0jb1Sa1X5H7wELvEDy9Xpe47Y52HTFUCxcoeVtiFgh6-IVLKK40cRcEjur0QcAdCXULQH-SOe-q9obuMMjC2TC6FFvT8/s200/savesalary+fist.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5060340540771289234" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Save the Salary is proud to be the corporate sponsor for this workshop!</span></span></div></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-27299365894154339322007-04-26T19:33:00.000-07:002007-04-29T09:11:32.296-07:00HOW BIG IS YOUR GOLDEN PARACHUTE?<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4tqGcAxx1k69HvT49RNTC-4e-TnoTONcuDKr8_p7znUKUhtK0vGJ01wB4MgGoKZbhAYzEZWuKghTkVUKIf-Z7FdFgk3rLSBO0BaN-EdF9R10pzSolDRGYBbAN1OIai-XuXJq8BG9Gl5s/s1600-h/GOLDEN+PARACHUTE.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4tqGcAxx1k69HvT49RNTC-4e-TnoTONcuDKr8_p7znUKUhtK0vGJ01wB4MgGoKZbhAYzEZWuKghTkVUKIf-Z7FdFgk3rLSBO0BaN-EdF9R10pzSolDRGYBbAN1OIai-XuXJq8BG9Gl5s/s400/GOLDEN+PARACHUTE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5057932451392669698" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The folks at the CEO Advocacy Group, <a href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/save-salary-movement-begun-by-corporate.html">Save the Salary</a>, have published a new book on how to get rich by getting a Golden Parachute. This essential corporate missive:<br /></div><ul><li>Makes a compelling case that losing your job should be lucrative, but only if you happen to be the CEO of your company.</li><li>Explains the behavior psychology of why Golden Parachutes for CEOs actually motivates rank and file employees to work even harder...well, sort of, in a hypothetical way that boggles the imagination.<br /></li><li>Uses a proprietary schocastic model to prove that binge-purge personnel practices (i.e., pay a lot money to hire a CEO and then pay even more to get rid of that person) builds corporate character. Yes folks, spending upwards of $100 million to unload a CEO is 100% pure common sense!<br /></li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;">For a hilarious salute to the CEOs who make millions for leaving, check out <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6741721">Sailing Away on a Golden Parachute</a> by Brian Unger of NPR's <a href="http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4465030">The Unger Report.</a><br /><br /><br />Note: For background, read the article,<a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/25/AR2007042502717.html">The Upside of Being Out</a><span style="font-style: italic;"> - How Taxes, Takeovers Figure Into Golden Parachute's Cushion</span>, in the Washington Post by David Hilzenrath.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-39741691634784480982007-04-24T10:11:00.000-07:002007-04-24T10:38:14.129-07:00THE GUIDE FOR MICROMANAGERS!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi10-q2D3KqM078Cm8sHD9azlLBy4fZJYGwi3I2xml_o2naK3OWojLh91OfLpW1-hL9ZAAXXs1i9SkKBiNsxCIYXQiOlDLnWwNWynP6st7bl5kksaP-Zo04Ou4-ehMn7R9QB3zQpvgc6wU/s1600-h/One+Minute+Minutia.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi10-q2D3KqM078Cm8sHD9azlLBy4fZJYGwi3I2xml_o2naK3OWojLh91OfLpW1-hL9ZAAXXs1i9SkKBiNsxCIYXQiOlDLnWwNWynP6st7bl5kksaP-Zo04Ou4-ehMn7R9QB3zQpvgc6wU/s320/One+Minute+Minutia.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5057045612653520610" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">What's worse than a micromanager? An incompetent or ineffective micromanager! Now there's a guide for the micromanagers in your life. This wonderfully detailed book, complete with a 376 page index, explains:<br /></div><ul><li>How the coming revolution in nanotechnology will spur the golden age of micromanagement.</li><li>Why nitpicking always trumps leadership!</li><li>How to be a like a god...it's in the details!</li></ul><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">Special Bonus!</span> Order online and you'll get your free subscription to the Micromanager's Online Nano-Checklist™. It's the only checklist endorsed by the National Society of Certified Micromanagers.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-65763201621122388382007-04-19T07:51:00.000-07:002007-04-21T08:24:09.285-07:00NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD REVISITED AS A BRAND<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2qahQgyEytcxSFs0BuOu9P1krNtT4BeFjm6nlLAUbl18d6YEa6CT4cg_OzHxcqUzUvcuSgl-tZpkQcG4nqN8j3vlie1J64h3nIB2rp1vx4zIIM0QPdL57iu_THcQuaa-5hEAg_cs9V6w/s1600-h/Night_off_the_Living_Dead+2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2qahQgyEytcxSFs0BuOu9P1krNtT4BeFjm6nlLAUbl18d6YEa6CT4cg_OzHxcqUzUvcuSgl-tZpkQcG4nqN8j3vlie1J64h3nIB2rp1vx4zIIM0QPdL57iu_THcQuaa-5hEAg_cs9V6w/s320/Night_off_the_Living_Dead+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5055231551611676354" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">Fast Company has an article entitled, <a href="http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/114/open_features-less-hulk-more-bruce-lee.html">Less Hulk, More Bruce Lee</a>, which discusses the concept of the <a href="http://www.jdk.com/live/livingBrand.html">Living Brand</a> with Michael Jager of <a href="http://www.jdk.com/live/home.html">JDK Design</a>, Apparently a brand is like a living organism that adapts to its environment. Throw in the spectre of genetic engineering run amok and you can imagine the horror movie depicted above.<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-63816004297126501512007-04-17T10:20:00.000-07:002007-04-21T08:26:07.415-07:00BEYOND MOUTH TO MOUTH MARKETING<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ04WvFEb-6M49_bEZxSrt5n6nyClJ91vwvxJPxkNmwmxsmRLlbzzufBfGihZJyOwT_e9sXSDyWNZBO27mytiPfI66E844euRTm01iKqOW2t6mejuyTxJhGRLx-ucGrIhG6olX5-rgD18/s1600-h/HoofandMouth.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQ04WvFEb-6M49_bEZxSrt5n6nyClJ91vwvxJPxkNmwmxsmRLlbzzufBfGihZJyOwT_e9sXSDyWNZBO27mytiPfI66E844euRTm01iKqOW2t6mejuyTxJhGRLx-ucGrIhG6olX5-rgD18/s320/HoofandMouth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5055154439768843954" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">This is the ultimate in <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Viral_marketing">Viral Marketing</a>! The history behind this book is quite fascinating. It began last June in San Francisco when a couple of scientists involved in DNA research regarding <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoof_and_mouth">Hoof and Mouth Disease</a> stumbled into last years <a href="http://www.womma.org/wombat3/">Word of Mouth Conference</a> better known as WOMBAT. Apparently they thought it was about the other kind of wombat. They attended a workshop on viral marketing and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">SHAZAM</span><span style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">!</span>, and a new branch of marketing was born! Word has it that a new association, the Hoof and Mouth Marketing Association (<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">HAMMA</span>) is being formed. Their first conference is being planned for next year and rumors are flying that the Purple Cow will be the featured speaker!<br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-17152902359507808202007-04-13T07:52:00.001-07:002007-04-15T05:53:49.628-07:00Wolfowitz seeks medical solution to ethics problem<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://adbusters.org/spoofads/misc/ethiceze/"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://adbusters.org/spoofads/misc/ethiceze/ad.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />From: <a href="http://adbusters.org/">http://adbusters.org/</a><br /></span></span></div><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">In a follow-up to our earlier story, <a href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/romance-corruption-at-world-bank.html">Romance and Corruption at the World Bank</a>, the AP reported that Paul "Wolfie" Wolfowitz has apologized for helping his girlfriend, who is employed by the World Bank, get a substantial raise. A strangely contrite Wolfowitz said, "<a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070412/ap_on_bi_ge/world_bank_flap_14">I made a mistake, for which I am sorry</a>." The Cantankerous Consultant has investigated this and learned that soon after making that statement an angry Wolfowitz was heard to say, "What the heck got into me? Being World Bank President means never having to say you're sorry."<br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">In a prophylactic effort to prevent future incidences of weak-kneed, shocked and awed contrition, Wolfowitz has been given a prescription for <a href="http://adbusters.org/spoofads/misc/ethiceze/">ETHIC-EZE </a>by his physician, Dr. Ted Doantgivadam. "Although ETHIC-EZE was originally formulated for advertising executives, it works just fine for other professions," stated Dr. Doantgivadam. "However, anytime you prescribe medications for a NeoCon, there is a higher risk of side effects."<br /></div><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-32505495280550096172007-04-12T10:59:00.000-07:002007-04-12T11:13:42.217-07:00Grand Nagus is CEO of Save the Salary<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyG1UbHn9o6vrXwvdWCs9to64clk-sE9uDJYcny0jf9PyXqDThKri0uL6etrc2ju4pq0bwBn_U8cXTK7WavvZPyJxPIev7SJgEFhQJRnhtVa_Qs9R5xRJMlhJyOkryqtYlWrB1zqtDvw/s1600-h/Nagus+wealth.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTyG1UbHn9o6vrXwvdWCs9to64clk-sE9uDJYcny0jf9PyXqDThKri0uL6etrc2ju4pq0bwBn_U8cXTK7WavvZPyJxPIev7SJgEFhQJRnhtVa_Qs9R5xRJMlhJyOkryqtYlWrB1zqtDvw/s400/Nagus+wealth.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5052603272438836066" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: arial;">The newly formed CEO advocacy group, </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/save-salary-movement-begun-by-corporate.html">Save the Salary </a><span style="font-family: arial;">has announced the appointment of its first CEO. </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Nagus">Grand Nagus</a><span style="font-family: arial;"> Pox has been chosen from a field of more than twenty candidates. "We kind of wanted Ken Lay, but as you know, he's passed on. Nonetheless, we couldn't be happier to have a real live Ferengi, and the Grand Nagus at that, to lead us in the formative years of <span style="font-weight: bold;">Save the Salary</span>," noted <span style="font-family: arial;">Ray Irani, CEO of Occidental Petroleum. "I never considered myself a religious man until I heard about the </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rules_of_Acquisition">Rules of Acquisition</a><span style="font-family: arial;">. Personally, <span style="font-family: arial;">I love Rule #22</span><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" >: </span></span></span><span style="font-family: arial;font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">A wise man can hear profit in the wind</span>. I get goosebumps just saying it!"</span><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-family: arial;"></span><br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-31255030719178598292007-04-10T09:22:00.000-07:002007-04-10T09:35:21.363-07:00Even more about Circuit City!<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMR4uZJaLjtyb4GZmAvkksQhvexZHNzoNXKOprA1nphgznBOrqwktan0y2LYv64OHwyBt5Jvbk-GnLGIt1InLSCk7a1zZWnHGRA223j27Y0un6uw1UXwVDjMW8oS48-zpCQVcIPQA_R7M/s1600-h/TVHELL.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMR4uZJaLjtyb4GZmAvkksQhvexZHNzoNXKOprA1nphgznBOrqwktan0y2LYv64OHwyBt5Jvbk-GnLGIt1InLSCk7a1zZWnHGRA223j27Y0un6uw1UXwVDjMW8oS48-zpCQVcIPQA_R7M/s320/TVHELL.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5051836139740162882" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">As a reward for laying off 3,400 employees, Circuit City CEO Phillip <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Schoonover</span> becomes the first-ever three-peat topic posting. (See: </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/more-on-circuit-city.html">More on Circuit City</a><span style="font-family:arial;"> and From </span><a style="font-family: arial;" href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/hedgogs-to-warthogs.html">Hedgehogs to Warthogs</a><span style="font-family:arial;">). Today we are pleased to refer our readers to a wonderful column by Bill White of </span><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >The Morning Call</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> entitled, </span><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><a href="http://www.mcall.com/news/columnists/all-white0404,0,3166451.column?coll=all-news-col">Circuit City executives heading south</a>. </span><br /></div><span style=";font-family:arial;font-size:100%;" ><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;">My favorite line from the column has Satan saying to Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Schoonover</span>, "T</span>his place is full of overpaid, outsourcing, golden-parachuting, employee-abusing worms like you."<br /><br /></div><br /><span style="font-family:arial;">Bill White, you're my kind of writer!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-73036375369882733012007-04-09T13:39:00.000-07:002007-04-09T13:56:01.723-07:00BoringPoint is now SnoringPoint<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjkT-7IL4jRdb5rrp36UofZYvjtiYpBscAfV8i6M_gnCUn-akAXfF-0UeCKcN7nQiTnkPdbMYO1DdTHu_bLc5NIro8UaDFMYbIVOY13dsGeyMfdI7Tc-c16bX-FbTM8DwwJpO1hDXcE98/s1600-h/snoringpoint.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjkT-7IL4jRdb5rrp36UofZYvjtiYpBscAfV8i6M_gnCUn-akAXfF-0UeCKcN7nQiTnkPdbMYO1DdTHu_bLc5NIro8UaDFMYbIVOY13dsGeyMfdI7Tc-c16bX-FbTM8DwwJpO1hDXcE98/s320/snoringpoint.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5051534231625256962" border="0" /></a><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHerSIo0gyjPMnLZI4TKPqNloN9hGaX4FRmyd1Qz5Rq_2sClgy11wzPOFKAsP7IuDYwxrv6rtF21jDE4-gk3egNXyab8xl3By1dKiTImw7MAyYbDOKk_pnbR994GVujV0QcsEYYTqfhs0/s1600-h/snoringpoint.jpg"><br /></a><div style="text-align: justify;">April 10, 2007 - BoringPoint, a consulting firm known for its cutting edge use of ennui-based management tools announced that it is changing its name to SnoringPoint. Gab Fester, company spokesperson explained, "We were inspired by a <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/OnCall/story?id=2831235">recent reports</a> of a study by <a href="http://www.saramednick.com/">Dr. Sara Mednick</a> demonstrating that taking naps leads to increased workplace productivity. After reading her book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Take-Nap-Change-Your-Life/dp/0761142908/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-8636275-9029445?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1176151581&sr=8-1"><span style="font-style: italic;">Take a Nap, Change Your Life</span></a>, our CEO had an epiphany and our new slogan reflects this. 'We snooze, you lose' is a strategic manifesto. We'll be snoozing and getting stronger while our competitors rely on Starbucks to stay awake. In the long run, we'll snooze our way to victory!"<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7UYzEX-5nL94l3mGs5PgAdjlNWKZx5xecGZKmXN5J43o9HPxbGZfo52b9wDPLoLORX7o8H9c-0lCcBL1pAYAL_0YhYQzxoVtyhWlDQ3AJ0ZHs6Uz05__f8fahGdx8rgD0CfZH_mcuAEs/s1600-h/boringpoint.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7UYzEX-5nL94l3mGs5PgAdjlNWKZx5xecGZKmXN5J43o9HPxbGZfo52b9wDPLoLORX7o8H9c-0lCcBL1pAYAL_0YhYQzxoVtyhWlDQ3AJ0ZHs6Uz05__f8fahGdx8rgD0CfZH_mcuAEs/s200/boringpoint.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5051533913797677042" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">The old logo and slogan.<br /></span></span></div><br /><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-52943102425720619622007-04-09T03:49:00.000-07:002007-04-29T10:21:58.882-07:00Check out Bob Sutton's Commentary!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/04/the_no_associat.html"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; width: 200px; cursor: pointer; text-align: center;" alt="" src="http://bobsutton.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/04/better_button.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bobsutton.typepad.com/.shared/image.html?/photos/uncategorized/2007/04/04/better_button.jpg"></a>Many thanks to Bob Sutton, author of that wonderful tome, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Rule-Civilized-Workplace-Surviving/dp/0446526568/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6785493-7989746?ie=UTF8&s=books&amp;qid=1175700276&sr=8-1"><span style="font-style: italic;">The No Asshole Rule</span></a>. Visit his blog, <a href="http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/04/the_no_associat.html">Work Matters</a>, for his commentary about my <a href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/more-on-circuit-city.html">comments on Circuity City</a>. And Bob, congratulations! I understand the <a href="http://bobsutton.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/04/arse_test_appro.html">ARSE test</a> will soon reach 75,000 completions! </div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-83744655375829473002007-04-08T10:20:00.000-07:002007-04-08T11:47:25.203-07:00Save the Salary Movement begun by Corporate CEOs<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghaRAmNtK8vUSxFu07qxYG5U33AwjeGcBqhp0A9AXeq4kKkKWR0NYje98n0ZuTa1l_7h8MBoJ8wQPnW5ItoSVFWmxwJ_D3PRt8DvFsZWlCq0y_cj6cxxCjyjSPPQwKKCXPGGtXaZuxsNA/s1600-h/savesalary+fist+2.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEghaRAmNtK8vUSxFu07qxYG5U33AwjeGcBqhp0A9AXeq4kKkKWR0NYje98n0ZuTa1l_7h8MBoJ8wQPnW5ItoSVFWmxwJ_D3PRt8DvFsZWlCq0y_cj6cxxCjyjSPPQwKKCXPGGtXaZuxsNA/s400/savesalary+fist+2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5051130706562895762" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">To combat a growing threat to corporate largess, America’s best paid CEOs have banded together to form an organization called, <span style="font-weight: bold;">Save the Salary</span>. Ray Irani* - CEO of Occidental Petroleum made the following announcement.</span> <span style="font-family:arial;">“A recent study by The Corporate Library reveals the median pay for chief executive officers at corporations rose less than 10 percent for the first time since 2002. Obviously we are not happy with that. To put this in perspective, the most recent compensation increase was a paltry 9.3 percent, a woeful comparison to the 16 percent increase the previous year.” </span><br /></div><span style="font-family:arial;"><br /></span><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">A visibly distraught Irani then fought back tears and continued, “Today I stand before you to say, ‘We, the CEOs of America, cannot and will not stand for this. We are drawing a line in the sand. Therefore, it gives me great pride to announce a new organization dedicated to preserving our corporate heritage of outlandish salaries and perks. It is called, ‘Save our Salaries’ and you will hearing a lot more about it in the coming months and all the swell ways the public can make their tax-free donations!"<br /></span></div><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />* (Reuters) — Occidental Petroleum's chairman and chief executive took in more than $400 million in compensation last year, the company said in a filing, one of the biggest single-year payouts in U.S. corporate history.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-86991255166290858072007-04-05T10:08:00.000-07:002007-04-06T18:35:47.894-07:00ROMANCE, CORRUPTION AT WORLD BANK<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">“Being Wolfie means not having to say you're sorry.”</span><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">Washington Post </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-weight: bold;">journalist Dana Milbank</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Today’s commentary is about Paul Wolfowitz, President of the World Bank and an architect of Bush’s invasion of Iraq. Apparently many bank sta</span><span style="font-family:arial;">ffers are upset regarding favoritism shown by the bank and the Bush administration towards the Wolfme</span><span style="font-family:arial;">ister’s one-time girlfriend, Shaha Riza.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Apparently the Wolfmeister tried to circumvent bank rules to allow him to work alongside his romantic interest. That, according to “the bank</span><span style="font-family:arial;">'s e</span><span style="font-family:arial;">thics</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> officers…would not be allowable, the problem appeared solved when Riza was detailed to work at the State Department's public diplomacy office in September 2005--even</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> though her salary was still to be paid by the World Bank.”</span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;font-family:arial;" >[source of quotes from Murray Waas at <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/murray-waas/favoritism-shown-towards_b_45038.html">Huffingtopost.com</a>]</span><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Riza received a promotion and payraise that</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> brought her salary to $193,000. “That salary increase not only meant that Riza earned more than Secretary</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> o</span><span style="font-family:arial;">f State Condoleezza Rice, but apparently made her the single highest paid State Department official.”.</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">The Cantankerous Consultant is pleased to b</span><span style="font-family:arial;">e the first to reveal exactly how the Wolfmeister got himself into this mess. Th</span><span style="font-family:arial;">rough a confide</span><span style="font-family:arial;">ntial source, we have obtained a transcript of a private meeting between Wolfowitz and Riza:</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht7DuwF0m5Km783nSspiGXrhPvkxFd1h4ywXDpnwySukQb9fGllUxhdVDk1_o1cm6qLC3sFt57paxAPkJuH-_Gc13Dk4uBGZmL2Cmu7zp_VX9Hr9Lw35uXQMohlOmIxnb8ey7WzSX5q7k/s1600-h/wolife+shaha+cartoon+BIG.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEht7DuwF0m5Km783nSspiGXrhPvkxFd1h4ywXDpnwySukQb9fGllUxhdVDk1_o1cm6qLC3sFt57paxAPkJuH-_Gc13Dk4uBGZmL2Cmu7zp_VX9Hr9Lw35uXQMohlOmIxnb8ey7WzSX5q7k/s400/wolife+shaha+cartoon+BIG.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5050493784387735394" border="0" /></a></div><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-family:arial;" >And now for a special and serious editorial commentary:</span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">It's important to keep in mind that Mr. Wolfowitz has promised to get tough in the fight against corruption. In a <a href="http://web.worldbank.org/WBSITE/EXTERNAL/EXTABOUTUS/ORGANIZATION/EXTOFFICEPRESIDENT/0,,contentMDK:21275277%7EmenuPK:51175739%7EpagePK:51174171%7EpiPK:64258873%7EtheSitePK:1014541,00.html">speech</a> to the Appeal of Conscience Foundation Awards Dinner, March 27, 2007, he said: </span><span style="font-family:arial;">“We are seeing many Africans literally putting their lives on the line in the fight for transparency and accountability…One such person is Nuhu Ribadu, Executive Chairman of Nigeria’s Economic and Financial Crimes Commission. He is courageously leading his government’s effort to fight corruption, undeterred by the murder of two of his people.”</span><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">It doesn’t seem possible to excuse Wolfie or write this off as merely</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> a personal scandal. What it comes down to is this:</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Some people dig deep to find the courage to put their lives on the line in the fight against corruption. Wolfie, in stark contrast, has summoned arrogance and gall, mouthing hollow slogans about corruption while at the same time putting his love life ahead of the mission of the Bank. Hardly the way to set an example for the staff he leads. There's a lot of good people at World Bank and they deserve better. Much better.<br /></span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-6222741755187279142007-04-04T08:05:00.000-07:002007-04-04T08:28:37.529-07:00More on Circuit CityIn an earlier post entitled, <a href="http://cantankerousconsultant.blogspot.com/2007/04/hedgogs-to-warthogs.html">Hedgehogs to Warthogs</a>, I offered my humble but scathing opinion of Circuit City's recent lay-offs. Well, I happen to discover the following set of corporate values on their <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.circuitcity.com/cccareers/about/values.html">website:</a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4hgGVNIt_QoS8j3jNmWN5sK35HVbkjrkXyU87S_ZazJfKlFufZLJkIvcI8rQ1QpwClDZXa7sljfaDz8k7F2PGAIFSY8wsCWR7b14dDnU_32yUfm-bpTUxKX_6eEkpZ0NOm5jDK5YdZGY/s1600-h/circuitcity+values.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4hgGVNIt_QoS8j3jNmWN5sK35HVbkjrkXyU87S_ZazJfKlFufZLJkIvcI8rQ1QpwClDZXa7sljfaDz8k7F2PGAIFSY8wsCWR7b14dDnU_32yUfm-bpTUxKX_6eEkpZ0NOm5jDK5YdZGY/s400/circuitcity+values.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5049591433233682114" border="0" /></a>"Our associates are our greatest assets." If that is true then why lay off 3,400 of your great assets? I was at a loss for an explanation but then I got an anonymous tip from one of their employees. Apparently Circuit CEO Phillip <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Schoonover</span> recently purchased the best-selling business book entitled, <span style="font-style: italic;">The No Asshole Rule</span> by Robert Sutton. Somehow, Mr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Schoonover</span> thought the title of the book was, <span style="font-style: italic;">The No Associate Rule</span>. Yeah, it sounds ridiculous, but it makes more sense than anything I've read in the press releases from Circuit City.<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Rule-Civilized-Workplace-Surviving/dp/0446526568/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-6785493-7989746?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1175700276&sr=8-1"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-cf3zVoGu3I3pHwdU6Upes83rJbZILKQ6li1FG1mUkzV9FG72Q5KYchpG9OM94BxNni6p0wQg6ZlxUwXTwdcjrYA9xeiAVlgX3lIcmPYS6m3L72PjRuFmFWvLdLPoLFqYYYpI2LgKh0Q/s400/asshole+to+associate.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5049593507702886098" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family:verdana;">Note to Circuit City: The book on the left is real!</span><br /><span style="font-family:verdana;">The book on the right exists only in your imagination.</span><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-51079252019872545092007-04-03T12:15:00.000-07:002007-04-10T06:11:55.330-07:00DarkSourcing - An Interview with Halliburton's CEO<div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" ><br /><span style="font-size:130%;">The Darkside of Outsourcing</span><br /></span></div><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:arial;" ></span></div></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family:arial;">The Cantankerous Consultant is pleased to interview David Lesar, CEO of Halliburton. According to Bloomsberg News: “Halliburton Co., the largest contractor for the Iraq war effort and the company formerly led by Vice President Dick Cheney, paid Chief Executive Officer David Lesar $15.2 million last year…Lesar's salary rose 3.2 percent, to $1.3 million from $1.26 million in 2005, the company said in a filing with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. The CEO also received $3.74 million in stock awards, $2.62 million in stock options and $6.64 million in non-stock incentives.”</span><br /></div><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span> Reading about your compensation package makes me wish Halliburton had been one of my clients. Just one gig with you guys and I’d be filthy rich.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span> Interesting phrase, “filthy rich.” From our viewpoint at Halliburton, it’s considered an oxymoron. What we do isn’t filthy when you consider that the Pentagon has paid us nearly $78 million for <a href="http://www.publicintegrity.org/pns/db.aspx?act=cinfo&coid=964409007">Janitorial and Housecleaning services</a>.. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;">So, you’re really cleaning up by cleaning up? Wouldn't that make the phrase ironic rather than oxymoronic?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Yes. I stand corrected.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> I understand Halliburton is moving its headquarters to Dubai? What’s behind that?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> I know there’s a lot of controversy about that and a lot of unfair accusations have been leveled against us. But honestly, the answer is very simple and straightforward. As you know, George W. Bush’s nickname is “Dubya” which sounds a little bit like Dubai. So moving there is just our way of keeping the President’s name foremost in our hearts and minds. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> So, what was it like to follow in the footsteps of Dick Cheney?<br /><br /></span><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> A total privilege. You know I wrote a song in his honor called, <span style="font-style: italic;">My Sith Lord.</span> Actually I borrowed the tune from George Harrison’s <span style="font-style: italic;">My Sweet Lord </span>and made up my own lyrics. Would like to hear it?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Err…perhaps another time. I think the readers of my blog want to know what you learned from Sith…err, Mr. Cheney.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;">The secrets of <span style="font-weight: bold;">DarkSourcing</span>!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;">DarkSourcing?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;">Oh yes, it’s Lord Cheney legacy to Halliburton. When he first became CEO he saw the promise of outsourcing.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> That’s where the Pentagon pays Halliburton and KBR a bundle to do what they could for less money in the first place.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Yes. But we improve the process by adding the profit margin without which democracy itself could not exist.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Okay. Now back to Cheney.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> When Lord Cheney came he brought his knowledge of the Dark Side. And let me say, when it comes to change management, you can’t beat a Sith Lord.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> I bet!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Anyway, Lord Cheney combined his mastery of the Darkside with the promise of outsourcing to unleash a bold and terrifying new power, DarkSourcing!</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Awesome! Can you tell us more?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> I could, but then I'd have to kill you.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Cantankerous Consultant:</span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> Well, thank you for your time.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(102, 0, 204);">David Lesar: </span></span><span style="font-family:arial;"> You’re certainly welcome. </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-84101576844025168182007-04-03T08:55:00.000-07:002007-04-03T09:35:22.514-07:00A Consulting Firm that Delivers on its Promises<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguVQPCK9lDwgmfLOfEXv5EKpxJolMv7J7-HfQXSRAWdOj4i2or4YSWR0sufwAz7_N9ZrAUambOpQkp5Fwtmd7IbCl-_tuRG38XF2txl6IPmAUZRK-EKtMqrwnAtGLXmUVYh1oTdLd687E/s1600-h/Bane+logo.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguVQPCK9lDwgmfLOfEXv5EKpxJolMv7J7-HfQXSRAWdOj4i2or4YSWR0sufwAz7_N9ZrAUambOpQkp5Fwtmd7IbCl-_tuRG38XF2txl6IPmAUZRK-EKtMqrwnAtGLXmUVYh1oTdLd687E/s400/Bane+logo.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5049240825146130850" border="0" /></a>At last, a consulting firm that is honest and really delivers!<br />Their motto: "Let us be the bane of your existence!" <br />As the graph shows, they're not kidding.<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbjkC3QI3hqTqIc6vDV-KSz5mUvHURtPTthgV2oYlMEgTcjJeHbkvx8l4wQId1wAwoQz3ahOl9xIfmKE3bIw1XD9iUV1L3TvCrsnyoyH2JKnM1exqnucQ5vSkSGeukD_XK79IOfwXwNjs/s1600-h/bane+performance.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbjkC3QI3hqTqIc6vDV-KSz5mUvHURtPTthgV2oYlMEgTcjJeHbkvx8l4wQId1wAwoQz3ahOl9xIfmKE3bIw1XD9iUV1L3TvCrsnyoyH2JKnM1exqnucQ5vSkSGeukD_XK79IOfwXwNjs/s400/bane+performance.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5049241112908939698" border="0" /></a><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-58705833645942652812007-04-01T13:29:00.000-07:002007-04-09T06:42:23.831-07:00Hedgehogs to Warthogs<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJH4Qw64oYSRWo1hjD-T4Thx2VBB0robJw7Td8uXBIp9cH7W-mL1Jnbx-JbHGB_wGZ96B992b3ehb1sz1MBf4zMwbmPTMfxR4z3RsFyobqX_MLkEa-1rYR7cC2mw9PoO_Fi0B4H8UoAw/s1600-h/goodasinine3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRJH4Qw64oYSRWo1hjD-T4Thx2VBB0robJw7Td8uXBIp9cH7W-mL1Jnbx-JbHGB_wGZ96B992b3ehb1sz1MBf4zMwbmPTMfxR4z3RsFyobqX_MLkEa-1rYR7cC2mw9PoO_Fi0B4H8UoAw/s400/goodasinine3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5048807849493021042" border="0" /></a><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:180%;" ><span style="font-weight: bold;">From Hedgehogs to Warthogs</span></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;font-family:arial;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);"><br /><span style="font-size:100%;">An exclusive interview with<br />Circuit City CEO Philip Schoonover<br /><br /></span></span></span></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">Last week Circuit City announced they were firing 3,</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">400 of their employees because they were making too much money. They company told the dismissed employees they could reapply, in ten weeks, for any openings at Circuit City. Presumably at a wage lower than their original pay scale.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">In an exclusive intervi</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ew with CEO Philip Schoonover, we find out what lies beyond good to great.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant: </span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">As most readers of th</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">is blog undoubtedly know, Circuit City was one of the cases cited in the landmark book, <span style="font-style: italic;">Good to Great </span>by Jim Collins. How do you explain this recent personnel move in light of that book? Haven’t you lost your way from being cited in <span style="font-style: italic;">Good to Great</span>?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-style: italic;">: </span>Well, I went back and really studied what Jim Collins had to say. For example, he talks about getting the right p</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">eople on the bus and asks</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">, “If compensation is not the primary driver for the right people on the bus, then what are the primary elements in getting and keeping the right people on the b</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">us? What role does compensation play?”</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">It occurred to me, “Hey, we just don’t understand the ro</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">le compensation plays for the vast majority of our employees. We need to find out!” So we devised this layoff as a grand corporate experiment. Lay off a bunch of employees but give them the chance to reapply for their jobs at lower pay. That way we can observe performance, morale and other factors on the same people operating under two different pay scales. I’ve already been asked by <span style="font-style: italic;">Harvard Business Review</span> to write an article about this.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant</span>: D</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ownright brilliant! So by conducting this experiment you are really building a dynamic learning environment?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span> Exactly! The knowledge we gain from laying-off those employees will offset any pain they feel.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> No pain, no gain! Got it. Another concept brought forward by Jim Collins is the concept of Level 5 leadership. Any com</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ments on how that relates to the layoffs.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">:</span> It is directly relevant and I’ll tell you why. Jim Collins notes that humility is a hallmark characteristic of a Level 5 leader. Think about it, only the most self-effacing of our laid-off employees will choose to apply for their old jobs at a lower s</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">alary. Those that do reapply are, by default, possessive of great humility. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> Now I’ve been getting a lot of heat fro</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">m the press because of this. But I’m determined to go through with this</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">. After all, it’s not the heat but th</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">e humility that counts.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-style: italic;">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> It also s</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ounds like a great way to ensure you’ve got the right people on the proverbial bus.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span>Yes, absolutely. When we’re done we’ll </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">have the most incredibly humble busload of employees you could ask for. </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> Okay. So what’s going to be the hardest part of the trip for this humble bus?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span>All the road kill!</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> Is there any particular animal that predominates as road kill?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153);"> </span>Yeah, hedgehogs. You’d be amaze</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">d, I’d say at least two-thirds of the road kill we see are hedgehogs. They just curl into a ball on the road as if that’s going to protect them. Dumb animals! Foxes, on the other h</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">and, are never roa</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">d kill. They’re too smart and fast to get nailed.</span></span><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant</span>: Your salary is listed at $1.42 million. What can possibly say to your employees under the current circumstances? </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">:</span> I’d like to say to our laid-off employees during th</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ese challenging times: Let them eat Cake Mania, a fun electronic game on sale for only $19.99!</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> Any final observations or comments for our readers?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> Actually, I’d like to address my com</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">ments to Jim Collins. As I mentioned before, it seems most of the roadkill are he</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">dgehogs. That suggests we need to rethink that story of the hedgehog and the fox. Quite frankly, I don’t think hedgehogs cut it</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> in today’s hyper-competitive world.</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(0, 0, 153);">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> If not the </span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">hedgehog</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;">, then what?</span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);font-size:100%;" ><span style="font-family:arial;">Schoonover</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-style: italic; color: rgb(51, 51, 153);">:</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> Well, how about the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Warthog</span></span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"> Concept</span>? </span></span><br /><br /><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 153); font-style: italic;">The Cantankerous Consultant:</span> Warthog Concept...has a ring to it. I like it! And by the way, one of my favorite wines is the Warthog Pinotage from</span></span><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:arial;"> <a href="http://www.angelini-wine.com/Producer.asp?BrandID=90#Warthog">Angelini Wine</a> of South Africa.<br /></span></span><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.angelini-wine.com/Producer.asp?BrandID=90#Warthog"><img style="cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.angelini-wine.com/data/Logo/Warthog.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-89930452113224117442007-03-29T06:16:00.000-07:002007-03-31T13:14:03.617-07:00POST-CONSULTANT STRESS DISORDER<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK5wjL04bGZsLUqGMWo7BfB-58aYRD8NgUvBcX9_J-BxynEB7UrfwE6Hletn1KxSNflOY6irxP54JXot9VuBcsTxEihczzi7h810E6lsd9ssjMdhvPfQc1-BjI6pu6nfEJjeGFA1SJtds/s1600-h/PCSD.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK5wjL04bGZsLUqGMWo7BfB-58aYRD8NgUvBcX9_J-BxynEB7UrfwE6Hletn1KxSNflOY6irxP54JXot9VuBcsTxEihczzi7h810E6lsd9ssjMdhvPfQc1-BjI6pu6nfEJjeGFA1SJtds/s320/PCSD.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5047336505366561058" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);font-size:180%;" >Announcing The National Center for<br />Post-Consultant Stress Disorder </span><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size:130%;">Dieter Prucker is proud to be a sponsor of the National Center for Post-Consultant Stress Disorder (PCSD). Each year thousands, if not more, clients are crippled and traumatized by their encounters with consultants. And these encounters can fry any region of the brain. This blog will provide ongoing coverage of the ground-breaking work of the brave men and women who battling the ravages of PCSD.</span><br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-574285035568526462007-03-28T06:11:00.000-07:002007-04-12T17:41:52.703-07:00TEN FACES OF INNO!VATION<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcmDkHgBbo4NUsqbbGhIcJk1Mh13juu-T9QLS5d1r3LFUPPCoHPKYYm0qCPoMiv4IvNjf75ggCPV_9RGK1qNRozdW7jOWrVTeL36yDBe9MZCZGUI-6chxCRwo9gDgSreKIPhxHpAM8NBA/s1600-h/ten+face.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcmDkHgBbo4NUsqbbGhIcJk1Mh13juu-T9QLS5d1r3LFUPPCoHPKYYm0qCPoMiv4IvNjf75ggCPV_9RGK1qNRozdW7jOWrVTeL36yDBe9MZCZGUI-6chxCRwo9gDgSreKIPhxHpAM8NBA/s400/ten+face.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5052706420373416818" border="0" /></a><br /></div><br /><br />I highly recommend this book. It's from the folks at <span style="font-weight: bold;">IDIO</span>. Their motto, "Design for failure and you can't help but succeed!" This marvelous book identifies the types of personalities you need to stifle innovation in your organization:<br /><ul><li>The Misanthrope</li><li>The Excreter</li><li>The "Cross Me, You Die!"</li><li>The Obstacle</li><li>The Constipator</li><li>The Detractor</li><li>The Experience Ruiner</li><li>The Failure Set Designer</li><li>The Backstabber</li><li>The Lying Sack of Shit<br /></li></ul>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-90950927526097571032007-03-26T15:49:00.000-07:002007-03-26T15:56:27.843-07:00Sick Sigma Dysfunctional Organization<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUH4lsGr_ixk2-49Ne4r9jfT_3K5Oyvu0iwj-em32111Qz0CPhvKnwDk3M04fSkF2sEAj6XKAl2sNKqj7T_a6fgWT8uGTjhXFf5mYAFFZsdxCvX2DMzZ6YblvaRIVtC4fhOWQ9lbgc49c/s1600-h/sicksigma.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUH4lsGr_ixk2-49Ne4r9jfT_3K5Oyvu0iwj-em32111Qz0CPhvKnwDk3M04fSkF2sEAj6XKAl2sNKqj7T_a6fgWT8uGTjhXFf5mYAFFZsdxCvX2DMzZ6YblvaRIVtC4fhOWQ9lbgc49c/s400/sicksigma.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5046370791204473186" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" >At last, a book that outlines a scientific and systematic approach to creating and maintaining dysfunctional organizational behavior!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-43687809396363063562007-03-22T07:21:00.000-07:002007-03-22T11:53:37.626-07:00Drek Lobeam Moron<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidfqtEKxrAmj-4-Uah246pvw2QmKFM2KIGzUjJgHvRKkh32PW3mmaP2rPbW5mRcBiiNPnMkbKE6H61rUXl2emUaM1fctlMsPiFLZALw0B7hhys2Iw7Sjf6lYSN5k45mJ1KgHRSDl5WNZo/s1600-h/DBM+small.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidfqtEKxrAmj-4-Uah246pvw2QmKFM2KIGzUjJgHvRKkh32PW3mmaP2rPbW5mRcBiiNPnMkbKE6H61rUXl2emUaM1fctlMsPiFLZALw0B7hhys2Iw7Sjf6lYSN5k45mJ1KgHRSDl5WNZo/s320/DBM+small.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5044758122658895650" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-weight: bold;font-family:trebuchet ms;" ><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Drek</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Lobeam</span> Moron is the world’s leading provider of strategic human resource solutions that help organizations malign their workforces to meet the needs of malevolent and maniacal bosses. Dating back to its founding during the Spanish Inquisition, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">DLM</span> is known for its torturous methodologies and assessment tools that condemn employees to agonizing failure.</span><br /></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4967666253696279772.post-11362512195798954442007-03-15T17:53:00.000-07:002007-03-18T08:46:09.108-07:00Classic Management Book<div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzq2rbfdpDQd7ctUgny0EXwFFKVq9nTfMZCd6wHmaH-WiA186WYzzzokgh_ouiLz1XrXfJKZqFaM4Q3-Tyo5asToXdQ0oh4S_avd0ZJt8iVUb0z0W7wbIaMOm7YCk6R5iLVUTOk4S1n34/s1600-h/in+search+of.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjzq2rbfdpDQd7ctUgny0EXwFFKVq9nTfMZCd6wHmaH-WiA186WYzzzokgh_ouiLz1XrXfJKZqFaM4Q3-Tyo5asToXdQ0oh4S_avd0ZJt8iVUb0z0W7wbIaMOm7YCk6R5iLVUTOk4S1n34/s320/in+search+of.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5042319768146132066" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div style="text-align: justify;">This week we celebrate the twentieth anniversary of the publication of this overlooked classic. Case studies in this book include:<br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Manure.com: </span> A company that learned the hard way that fertilizer and cyberspace don’t mix.</li><li><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Groins R Us: </span> A story of four fraternity brothers and their woefully pathetic attempt to seize this sensitive niche market.</li><li><span style="color: rgb(204, 0, 0);">Donner Party Consulting:</span> Who can ever forget their classic ad slogan, “Is Your Competition Eating You Alive?”<br /></li></ul> What is notable is the authors walked the talk in writing and publishing this book. For example:<br /><ul><li>The book was published directly from their unedited, first draft.</li><li><span style="font-style: italic;">In Search of Mediocrity </span>holds the Guinness World Record for most typos in a published book.</li><li>At least 72% of the data cited in the book has been proven to be incorrect.</li></ul>For more information on this book contact Cretin & Blowfart Publishing.<br /></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0